Grasshopper Night News - Burning Man East


Team Scouts Sites For Burning Man East

11/14/2010 - Greenport, New York

Due to the rapid growth of the annual Burning Man festival it is expected to outgrow its current home in Black Rock, Nevada in the near future. Alternate locations are now being considered and an advance scouting team is looking into potential sites in the Eastern U.S. Since the East is completely lacking in deserts or dry lake beds of any substantial size, scouts are looking into potentially dry lake beds and other locations that might be converted to desert like conditions.

Today the team is exploring the possibility of draining Long Island Sound. The first dive team was sent in to explore the area. On exiting the water the team leader stated that the area looked pretty good but whoever held the last festival down there left tons of MOOP in the form of abandoned giant art cars shaped like ships and submarines.




The second team was tasked with finding the drain plug. After an extended dive requiring much decompression time the team leader reported that the plug had been located and marked with a tie dyed buoy. A third and larger team was then sent sent in with some heavy equipment to attempt removing the plug.

After considerable effort involving rotating shifts of divers the team leader reported that the plug was out, but the drain was thoroughly clogged. He is quoted saying "I don't know how all that hair got in the drain but we're gonna need a really big plunger for this clog".




The lead Marine Snarkaeologist on this project who identifed himself as Penguin Boy is trying to track down a bigger plunger and pipe snake. "If we don't manage to unclog this drain, the site will not be a suitable location for the festival until the year 5,116,013 A.D. as it will require major tectonic plate movement." The organization is now considering making this year's theme "Clogged Pipes" in the hopes that a large scale art installation might serve to unclog the drain after the burn.